I have already described to you, dear readers, how I am getting old, but it has reached a new high with this past senior moment.
I live a few blocks from my classroom, so it is about a 7-minute walk to get there. One day, I had to go to a class in said classroom, so I packed up my stuff and was on my way. All was fine.
When I reached the classroom, I realized my charger was missing from the front pocket of the bag. Where could it be? Had it been stolen? Did I leave it in my room? Or was it abducted by aliens who study human technology to one-day take over the Earth?
I decided to check my room (after all, if aliens bent on world domination took it, I didn’t want to find it). About 7 minutes later, I arrived in my room. Then, the panic struck. It was not in my room and class was going to start soon. Gasp!
I searched flipping over everything in sight. The charger was nowhere to be found, and class was in 5 minutes (gasp again), so I ran back dejected and now, sweaty.
I arrived a minute early, out of breath and out of options, so I sat down to take out my notebook. As I took it out, my charger came out with it. Turns out I put it in my back pocket that day.
My second senior moment in the past few months. I sure hope my hair doesn't start turning grey.
Comment Question: When was your last senior moment? What was it?
You are reading what might be the very last post here ever to be created. That’s right tomorrow (or for some of you today) is 12-21-12. Otherwise known as the end of the Mayan calendar, which for some reason means the world will end!
As I sat to decide what I wanted to post for my last post on Earth, my mind started thinking about some tweets I had recently sent out. Nobody seemed to read them, and I thought: “Now the world will end with out anybody seeing my tweets!” Certainly, I could not let this happen, so I present to you some of my favorite tweets. Enjoy!
–Somedays you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. Advice: do not do it in an open elevator.
–Roosevelt said, "there's nothing to fear be fear itself." Clearly, he has never met a spider.
–When all else fails, hope everyone else fails with you.
–When they make hovercrafts, what happens when you run out of fuel? #Futurequetions
-The self replacing lightbulb would put many comedians out of business...
-Dads. Where good jokes go bad.
-"But if I count ten, I'll forget why I'm angry"
-Donut hue juzt hayt typos?
-I just got a word verification wrong three times...I MUST BE A ROBOT
-Somedays when I have to walk long distances, I wish I could teleport. Granted, my idea of long distance is anything that requires standing.
-I bet the "#" button is feeling pretty good these days. Before twitter, it was useless. I wonder when "%" will get it's glory day.
-Some look at the glass half empty. Some look at the glass half full. I look for a bottle to refill my glass.
And so, dear readers, the last post before the end of the world on 12-21-12. I hope these tweets have made the last day of this world special.
Comment Questions: Which was your favorite tweet? Do you have any fun nuggets below that I can tweet out? How are you Spending your last day on Earth.
-The Anon Blogger
Featured: What’s the point? The world is ending/Just finished finals and didn’t have time again. Sorry :(
Philosophy is a subject filled with mysteries and logic. A subject that many students try to avoid throughout their careers, yet every now and again, a challenging problem arises in Philosophy, and this one of them. This is Newcomb’s Problem.
The strange thing about Newcomb’s problem is that it leaves even the most learned of philosophers on two sides of the spectrum. No group can decide the logical choice, so naturally, I chose to share it with you dear readers to try and solve. Here is the problem:
You are on a game show and the host presents you with two boxes. One is see-through and one is not. In the see-through box, you can see $1000, and you are told that in the non-see-through box there is either $1,000,000 or nothing. You have two choices:
A)You take only the non-see-through box.
B)You take both boxes.
The choice is obvious, right? Choice B is clearly guarantees $1000 more than A, but then, the announcer says there’s a twist. A 99% accurate Newcomb’s Problem predictor has predicted what you would do today. If he predicted you would take choice A, he put $1,000,000 in the non-see-through box. If he predicted you would take choice B, he put nothing in it. Now it is not as easy, right?
This is why this has left a split down the philosophical community. Today, we will be putting this to the test. Fill in you answer in the poll below and if you want, put your reasoning in a comment below. Let’s see just how divided this question can be.
Which Choice Would You Take?
-The Anon Philosopher
Featured: Sorry guys, finals are approaching, so I haven't had much time to find someone to feature. Instead here's a link to a picture of a cat.
I know what you're thinking, "Woah a post on Wednesday, what's up with that!?" First of all, please never use a question mark and an exclamation point together again. It's very tacky. Also, don't worry still a new post tomorrow, but today was so special, I had to write one.
Yes, dear readers, today is December 12, 2012 otherwise known as 12-12-12! What, you may ask, is the significance of the 12-12-12? Well nothing really except that is a really cool date and the last triple repeating one in about 80 years! Thus, I have decided to commemorate it with this special blog post!
Some fun facts about 12-12-12:
-Some have declared the day National Microphone Testing Day, saying, "testing 1-2-1-2-1-2. Is this thing on?"
-12 is the atomic number of Magnesium, which shortened is Mg. Thus, this is Mg3, which is also a type of German gun, Rheinmetall. Who says this blog isn't educational?
-Also, by the same theme as the last one, the 12th letter of the alphabet is L, so this is L-3, the symbol for L-3 Communications Holdings Inc. Is this a sign that you should invest? Probably not.
-Some have expressed fear about this date. Yes, I know you see it too. 12-12-12 is just 6-6-6 X2, and anyone with hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia knows that this is the sign of the devil X2. Coincidentally, it is also the sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel. You gotta love Wikipedia.
-It is officially 9 days from the end of the world according to the Mayans. Then again, they also used to sacrifice humans to avoid bad fortune, so I'm not sure how trustworthy they are (Thank you once again Wikipedia).
So there you go, some key facts about 12-12-12 that everyone should know. I hope this has helped make this special day 12X better for you (see what did there?). Tell me what you think below.
-The Anon Blogger
PS On the note of not so important things that look special, is anybody else excited to see whether Gangnam Style makes it to 1 billion views before the end of the year? Tell me in the comments below!
Commercials can be confusing. Luckily, I have done some research into the subject and have compiled 10 helpful translations to help you better understand what they're really saying:
-A $300 value for only $19.95=A $3.00 value for only $19.95
-The #1 in the world=You cannot prove we are not the #1 in the world.
-We have a 30 day money-back guarantee=We guarantee you'll never get your money back.
-Side of effects of the drug include: headaches, cramps, heart failure, coma, pregnancy, death, and the disease this drug was created to prevent=Don’t sue us if you get more sick.
-Perfect for the whole family=Buy one for everyone in your family.
-4 out of 5 dentists approve=We couldn’t say 5 out of 5 without being sued.
-Listen to all our happy customers=Listen to the customers we paid to be on this commercial.
-For contest: No purchase necessary=You do not have to purchase to enter, but we make it incredibly annoying to enter otherwise.
-You get it for a low price, plus shipping and handling=The price is low, but wait until you see the huge price of shipping and handling.
-For only 5 easy payments of $39.95=$200
Commercials can be confusing, but I hope this guide has helped you better understand them.
-The Anon Blogger
Comment Questions: Do you think this should become a series on the blog? If so, what other popular commercial clichés should I translate next? Also, if I designed some T-Shirts based on the blog, would you be interested?
Featured: This week's featured person is another Youtuber and another former contestent on YOMYOMF's Internet Icon, Kyle Hatch. In addition to liking the blog, Kyle is really funny and has an awesome Youtube channel, which you should all definitely check out here: http://www.youtube.com/kcmgtv1
(PS Kyle if your reading these, please comment below and share! PPS If you're anyone and are reading this, check out the "Store" link below and tell me what you think of the designs)
Birthdays have many strange traditions that seem to come out of nowhere. For example, why do we eat cake? Why do we make a wish when we blow out the candles? Why do we speak Portuguese before cooking out the ceremonial birthday shwarma?...What? Wait none of you speak Portuguese before cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma? Well you are missing out, my friends, but I digress.
All of these traditions I can accept, but why is it we wait until the birthday of someone to say, “Happy Birthday”
‘Happy Birthday’ can have two meanings:
1.Command: I COMMAND YOU TO HAVE A GOOD BIRTHDAY!
2. Desire: I sure hope you have a happy birthday!
Either way, why do we say it on the birthday and not the day before, the week before, or even decades before?
It makes no sense to say “Happy Birthday” on the birthday because then you are only wishing/commanding them to have part of the day happy. Why not wish the entire day that way?
In fact, I think when the person is born, everyone should just say, “I wish/command all of your birthdays are happy!” Not only would this make more sense, but it would take you off the hook for having to say “Happy Birthday” every year.
Birthday person: Aunt Sally, why didn’t you say “Happy Birthday?”
You: I’m not you’re Aunt Sally, and I already wished you a “Happy Birthday” when you were born.
Birthday person: Oh! Well in that case I think you are the best Aunt Sally anyone could ever have. I love you the most especially compared to those who only wished me “Happy Birthday” for only part of the day.
I’m pretty sure that’s how the dialogue would go.
So, dear reader, I hope you have listen to this message and will never say “Happy Birthday” on a person’s real birthday ever again.
Comment questions: What do you think of birthdays? When is your birthday? Do you speak Portuguese before cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma? What about after cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma?
-The Anon Blogger
P.S. Happy future birthdays to everyone! Enjoy the shwarma!
Featured: The week’s featured person is blogger, Andi-Roo. This person has supported me from the beginning and this is me saying thanks. Make sure to go check her out at here blog here: http://www.theworld4realz.com/
If you want to be featured in a future post, leave a comment below.
Have you ever really wanted to attain a great weapon? Have you ever wanted to have a supreme power? Well after reading this you will have attained a great power...The Power to Embarrass...Well not really, but hopefully it will give you something to make your friends go crazy.
First, get a group of people you want to use and tell them you are going to have a race to finish the list of tasks on a page you will give them. The winner will win a prize and be declared the best reader (prizes of course vary on your group of friends, some may use a chocolate bar, some may use a car, others may use a chocolate car).
Here is the list of tasks:
1. Read all of the directions before continuing
2. Announce "I shall begin" very loudly
3. Stand on top of your seat
4. Scream "look out below" and jump down
5. Spin ten times
6. Sit down
7. Switch seats with the person next to you
8. Say the alphabet backwards
9. Say "Good morning, my name is Skippy" to three people
10. Freeze and stand completely still for ten seconds
11. Do ten jumping jacks
12. Countdown from sixty and end the countdown by screaming "blast off"
13. Do ten push ups
14. Dance for 15 seconds
15. Shake hands with the person who gave you this sheet and tell him "I have won"
16. Now that you have read all the directions ignore all of the above
Of course, you can change any of the tasks above except the first and last. When they reach the last sentence, most will be completely duped.
With this list you can embarrass any group of people. So remember, use it for good and not evil. Just kidding, feel free to use it for evil. Just not too much evil!
-The Anon Blogger
Featured: Sorry but I didn't have time to find a featured person this week! Instead I'll give you a link to perhaps one of the funniest Harry Potter parodies on the web, A Very Potter Musical. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk
Featured: This week's featured person is a actually a group of two Youtubers, TheFineBros. They are probably not going to see this, but they deserve the feature for being some of the best and most authentic Youtubers out there. The Fine Brother's are most popular for their great React and Spoiler series, but right now they are also producing the MyMusic comedy show on Youtube. This is a crucial time to help them get another season, so if you can help them out by subscribing and watching their videos, here is their link: http://www.youtube.com/user/MyMusicShow.
For many years, the English language has been filled with confusing words and sentences. It is ridden with words with thousands of meanings and meanings with thousands of words. In these segments, I aim at rooting out the issues with language and start: An English Rebellion
I have nothing against big words themselves. However, the problem is that many words nowadays that are big are just fancier words for a smaller, simple word.
I’m sure you can think of thousands of useless words that have simple alternatives, but let’s use a word that some people use, like the word ‘luminous.’ In my dictionary, the definition of the word ‘luminous’ is bright, which is what most people use it to mean, so I ask you, dear readers, why does the word exist? Why not just have the word ‘bright?’
Doesn’t seem that “bright” does it? (See what I did there?)
Perhaps, you might see this and suddenly realize the thousands of other common words that are replaced with bigger fancier sounding alternatives. Perhaps, you will so moved by this, that you will move to rebellion and that is what I am asking you to do.
Last time, I asked you to rebel against silent letters, and now I am asking you to rebel against the unnecessary big words. From now on, every word will have it’s own meaning, which it shares with no other word big or small. Everyone will know what every word means without any ambiguity. No longer will conversations end by looking in a dictionary.
In a world like this, everyone will be able to understand each other without any confusion. Now let’s make that world a reality.
Welcome! Many of you have been saying how much you enjoy each week's cartoons and that I should make a post of just cartoons, so I decided to listen to the people and do just that. Here they are, I hope you enjoy them because they took me a lot of time to make!
So there you go, the long awaited cartoon post! Tell me what you thought below and whether I should make this a regular segment.
Also, tell me which was your favorite!
-The Anon Cartoonist
Featured: This weeks featured blogger is another Youtuber and good friend of a group who was already featured on the blog: TheFu. It's Lana McKissack! Also famous from Internet Icon, she currently makes hilarious Youtube video every week! Make sure to check out her Youtube Channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/lanamckissack
Also, Lana if your reading this, comment below to tell me what you think and please share!
From the midst of vague letter grading, a new grade has somehow been born: the ‘A-/B+.’ When I first laid my on upon this grade, I immediately asked myself “What does this mean?”
The grading scheme I was taught was that ‘A-‘ is a 90-92.99... and a “B+’ was a 87-89.99... Thus, where does this grade lie? Super sleuth (i.e. me) was on the case, so I went and asked the teacher what number this referred. “Well that settles it,” you might say, “you must have gotten an answer.” Well I’m afraid you are mistaken.
The only thing the teacher said was that it was a grade in-between the two grades, which is not possible. Unless, somehow, teachers have managed to discover a number that exists in nothingness. A number that that somehow bridges the gap between the gapless and separates the inseparable. Somehow, these teachers have changed the very nature of logic and math bringing into being a true contradiction. This number will revolutionize the very fabric of math and science!
Then again, it could just be a way for teachers to remain indecisive over grades, but the first option is much cooler.
Thus, when you get an ‘A-/B+’ or something equivalent, don’t be discouraged or confused. Be proud that you have been given the chance to experience perhaps the greatest mathematical discovery since roman numerals.
-The Anon Blogger
P.S. If your friend is discouraged or confused over an ‘A-/B+,’ just send them this post and remind them how great an honor this grade truly is.
Advertisements. I’ve already talked about the ads that say you are the 1,000,000th visitor here, but other advertisements have been swarming the Internet causing havoc throughout the world. These are talking advertisements.
You know, those annoying ads that start speaking whenever you visit some of your favorite sites. Sometimes they can be funny and sometimes they can be just plain annoying (as opposed to the other types of annoying).
Now I am not saying that this was not funny, (for what is more funny than laughing at a fellow man’s embarrassment #wearesuchgoodpeople), but the question is why is it necessary? Would this type of advertising happen in real life?
Well let’s imagine…Close your eyes and- Well actually do not close your eyes or else you won’t be able to read. Keep your eyes open and envision the following…
You are walking down the street, looking at stores and attractions when all of a sudden a huge sign comes, blocks your way to where you want to go and screams, “CONGRATULATIONS YOU WON!!!!”
Personally, I do not think that would be very fun. Thus, rather than letting the machines take over and tell us what we’ve won, I say we fight against the speaking advertisements, not just for ourselves but for humankind.
Either that or we could shut off our computer volume, but that just seems like too much work.
-The Anon Blogger
Featured: This weeks featured person is a blogger! He is the writer of the Nothing Profound blog and has support this blog a lot including a comment on my last post. Here is his blog link: http://wwwaphorismscom.blogspot.com/ Make sure to check him out!
The cliché answer to this is "do not procrastinate!"
I love Clichés, but this one is not always true. I present to the arguments for procrastination:
1. With procrastinating time goes by, including time to discuss the project with others and time to reflect on it. By the time you are writing it last minute, you have maximized the amount of knowledge you could have before writing. Benefit? I think so.
2. When you start things early, there is not much motivation driving you. There isn’t any pressure saying “I have to do this now.” With procrastination, you are always thinking, “I have to do this now or fail.” Plenty of pressure means more motivation. More motivation=More passion=Better writing (maybe).
3. By that same train of thought, more pressure means more focus. You know you need to finish this project now, so there is no time for breaks or distractions. This means your mind will be completely focused on work.
4. Procrastination also means you will be going to sleep later, which means you will be more tired. Thus, unlike early nights where you might have trouble falling to sleep, with procrastination, you’ll fall asleep immediately. You might even fall asleep before you make it to bed.
As you can see, procrastination has many benefits. It can lead to better writing and better sleep. The only possible downsides are that rushing will lead to terrible writing, or you won’t be able to finish it in time, both leading to failure. Other than that, procrastination is clearly the best strategy around.
-The Ano...eh I'll finish the signature later.
Featured: This weeks featured person is an Actress, Lainey Lipson. Currently she plays Scene on the popular Youtube webseries, MyMusic. She also has her own singing channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/laineylips. She is an amazing singer and a great actress. If you've seen MyMusic, you know what I'm talking about. Also, she is a very dedicated tweeter, responding to it almost 24/7. Here's her twitter link: https://twitter.com/LaineyLips. Hopefully you'll check her stuff out! (Also Lainey if you're reading this, comment below to tell me what you think and share to spread the word!)
If you want to get featured below, leave a comment below, tweet @ me, or comment/message me on Facebook.
Imagine yourself talking with a friend on the way home to your apartment. You click the elevator button and it comes. You walk in and someone comes in with you. What happens? The elevator becomes silent. Then as you reach your floor and leave the elevator, the conversation continues.
This, dear readers, is what I call The Elevator Triangle. A place where all conversations seem to disappear. Today, I will be outline it's key features.
There are many additional aspects that come with The Elevator Triangle theory, like The Postulate of Button Awkwardness. For example, you walk into the elevator with another person: Do you offer to push their floor button for them? Do you wait for them to ask you for yours? Or do you just push your own button? If you press their button for them, and they reach for it too, your hands might bang into each other. If you wait, you might never get to your floor, and if you press only your own button, the other person might think you are being rude. Anyway you do it leads to Button Awkwardness [Insert Sad Face Here].
Another example of the Postulate of Button Awkwardness is excessive button pushing. This is when somebody is either waiting to get into the elevator or to get out, so he/she/it presses his/her/it's button over and over and over and over...(I think you get the pattern). And in the end, for some strange reason, the elevator does not move any faster. Science is strange sometimes.
Another piece of The Elevator Triangle, is the Door Holding Delay Principle (try saying that 5 times fast (it's actually quite easy now that I think about it...)). You are in the elevator and see someone coming into the building. Do you hold the door for them or do you click the door close button? If you hold the door, you will be delayed, and they might not even need to use the elevator, and if you close the door, they might see it as rude and you are delaying them. Either way, you get Door Holding Delay.
So, dear readers, these are the properties, postulates, and principles of The Elevator Triangle. I hope now when you go into an elevator, you now can realize it's effect.
Til the next lesson,
-The Anonymous Professor
P.S. I hope you enjoyed this new type of post called "The Professor and..." If you enjoyed it, click the like button below, and if there is enough positive feedback, I will make it a regular segment.
Featured: This week's featured user is not a blogger. It's a Youtuber! Well actually two Youtuber's, TheFu! They are semi-famous for their appearance on YOMYOMF's Internet Icon and are hoping to make their youtube music carrer a full time job, so help them accomplish their goal by watching their videos and subscribing! Here's their channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/thefumusic?feature=CAgQwRs%3D
P.P.S If TheFu are reading this post, tell me what you think below! (And share it if you can #shamelessselfpromotion)
Hello dear readers and welcome back (and if you are new here welcome!). I am here writing this post, remembering a stomachache, which I got after a wedding I recently attended. How did I get this ache? Well let me tell you (Oooh building suspense):
So we were on our way to the wedding right on time when traffic hits. 30 minutes...60 minutes...90 minutes...120 minutes. Two and a half hours until we got there, but it was too late. We had missed the ceremony.
"Did I get a stomach ache from being in the car for over two hours?" you ask. Nope.
So we went into the pre-reception, where there were a bunch of buffet style foods to choose from to eat. It was odd because it was food before a full meal, but it was good. So I got a water (with extra cherries of course) and got some food.
"Was it the pre-reception food that gave me my ache?" you ask. No no no.
Then we finally got to the reception, which was club style music and dancing. I had some more water with extra cherries and sat down. Eventually, my family was invited to dance, so everyone came up, even my grandfather. Then, some random bridesmaid came up and started dancing with my grandfather. Now I'd like you to get this image into your head, dear readers. Imagine an 80 year old man dancing with a 20 year old women with club music and strobe lights in the background. It was very funny. (P.S. Don't worry my grandmother was not jealous).
"Was it this image of my grandfather dancing that caused the ache deep within my stomach?" You ask. No, although it did almost make my sides split.
Finally, we sat down, ate, had another water with extra cherries, and then I had to go to the bathroom. Trust me when I say that this was one of the greatest bathrooms in the world. They even gave out free mints when you leave. I took and ate like 5.
"So was it the mints?" You ask. Still no...Sorry but the answer will come soon.
I waited for everyone to be ready to leave, had a couple more glasses of water with extra cherries, and then we were on our way home. About half way through the ride my stomach started to hurt.
"Why?" You ask. Turns out...I had too many cherries :(
-The Aching Blogger
Comment Question: Are you a fan of cherries? Have you ever witnessed your grandparents doing something hilarious? Do you have any sympathy for my troubles?
Featured: This weeks featured is Nikki! A dedicated follower, who if you check, has commented on almost all of my posts. Thank you so much for your support! To check out her great blog go here: http://marblesonglass.blogspot.com/
If you want to be featured on the blog, leave a comment below or contact me via any of the media sites below!
Featured This Week: This weeks featured person is Kate! One of the few who commented on my last post. She is also a blogger! Her blog is also humor but of a different kind, so check here out if you are intrigued at http://canigetanotherbottleofwhine.blogspot.com/.
If you want to be featured in a future week, leave a comment below.
I'm sorry to remind you all, but school is upon us yet again. A time where all kids around the world mourn the beginning of classes, tests, and worse, homework. To raise your spirits though, I have a story of one of my most entertaining classes ever.
There we were learning about how to listen carefully when one of my teachers comes running into the room. Here is the dialogue (Note: names are changed):
Teacher 1: "What are you doing? You can't just barge into a classroom."
Teacher 2: "I need to talk to Jane right now."
Teacher 1: "Class ends in 15 minutes, and then you can take her"
Teacher 2: "No, I have to take her now. You are not the boss of me."
Teacher 1: "Are you sure you want to do this? You are interrupting my class."
Teacher 2: "I don't care what you say, I need Jane now!"
Teacher 1: "Very well, just remember what you've done."
Teacher 2: "I will."
He leaves with Jane. The teacher asks us to write what we just saw, so she could use it. Of course, we are all afraid by now. We were thinking, "would what we write be used to get the other teacher fired?" We had no choice though, so we wrote down what we saw, and she asked us to read our stuff out loud. We all had different observations, which was a little weird, but not as weird as what happened next.
After we were all done, BOOM! the other teacher comes in and bows, and my teacher tells us that the exercise was to show that everyone hears something different. It was all an act. We were all freaked out.
I would like to take this time to congratulate my two teachers on such a wonderful feat, and if any of you, dear readers, are teachers, I highly suggest doing this. It was amazing.
Comment Questions: What would you have written about in that situation? Do you think this was awesome? Are you going to try to use this (please do)? Would you be freaked out if this happened to you? Tell me what you think in the comments below.
-The Shocked Anon Blogger
Featured This Week: Until bonus content returns, I thought it would be fun to keep the interactivity up in the blog by making a featured user of the week. Comment below if you want to be featured in the future and make sure to like ‘The Anon Bloggers” on Facebook (link below). This week's featured person is a blogger by the name of Bhavani K. Her blog, Insatiable Me, has some great humor and doodles, but most of all, she was one of the first supporters of my blog and remains faithful to this day. If you can go check her out, and again, if you want to be featured, leave a comment below.
Technology can be confusing, especially emails. Many times, I have read something and not understood if it was sarcasm or not or thought someone was insulting me when he was really giving a compliment. Let’s face when someone says, “Wow that’s so awesome,” you have no idea whether he is thinking, “Wow that thing that my friend did was so awesome that I totally have to tell him” or “Mwhahaha I said the thing my friend did was awesome, but he has no idea that I really think it’s not awesome and I’m just being evil Mwahahahaha.” By the way, props to your friend for being able to evil laugh in his head. I’ve only been able to chuckle.
Oh wait, back to topic…
Out of all of my Internet confusion, I must say the following experience confounded me.
I was in school near the end of the day when I received an assignment back from one of my teachers. “Very normal,” you might think, but read on dear reader. As I stared at the email, I saw my assignment and on the bottom instead of a grade it said the following:
Now I don’t know about you, but since when have letter grades been replaced with winks?
How do you respond to a grade like this? I mean on the one hand it is cute that my teacher grades with winks, but it is also extremely creepy to me. It’s 'crutey.' And just like that a new word is born.
So I ask, dear readers, do you think this creepy or cute?
Comment Questions: Do you think this is creepy or cute? Would you like a ‘;) ;) ;)’ grade from your teacher? Will you start using the word crutey (please do)?
Have you ever noticed that when you’re having fun, time moves fast, and when you’re suffering, time moves slowly? Some might say this is some type of psychological situation triggered in the brain, but I found a more plausible explanation. No, I’m not talking about some crazy explanation, like wizards or vampires. I’m talking about aliens.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “that explains everything, but why do they want to do this?”
That is very simple. Invasion. Aliens have been plotting an invasion of Earth since the beginning of time, and this is the perfect way of achieving it.
Whenever a human is having fun, aliens make the time pass quickly, so they feel sad that the moment has passed, and whenever a human is suffering, aliens make the time pass slowly, so the human suffers longer. Either way, it leads to depression.
Clearly, aliens want the human race to be depressed, so when the invasion begins they will submit in hopes of a better future.
This is the only logical explanation, and we must prevent it from succeeding.
We cannot give in! My request from you, dear readers, is to resist this alien manipulation. Instead of regretting the fun moment that has passed quickly, remember the happiness it brought you. Instead of suffering through slow boring times, look forward to the happy times ahead. Fight the depression that aliens are trying to force upon you, for this is the only way to save the world.
The aliens have met their match.
Comment Questions: Hello dear readers, to make up for bonus content during schools, I’ll try to ask a few comment questions every week. This weeks questions are: Do you experience this alien trick during your life? Have you ever witnessed any suspicious beings employing some type of time slowing or speeding process? What other methods can you think of to resist the alien’s attack?
-The Anon Blogger
Awesome Links (Click them in honor of the beginning of the school year):
I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to read first? Ha just kidding. I can’t hear a word you're saying, so let’s start with the bad news.
With the ending of August, comes the beginning of school, which means a lot more on my plate. This does not mean I’ll be blogging less, but it does mean I will be making less bonus content. I’ll see if I have time, but it does not look like I will, so expect just a regular once a week post.
Now the good news: First, the bonus content for last week has been completed thanks to your suggestions. Anonymous suggested a short Choose Your Own Adventure that goes by quick but has unexpected ending, so I hope I satisfied! You can find it HERE
Also, your entries have been added to the Hot Vs. Cold bonus content, so if you want to see if your entry was included or want to add a new argument, go HERE
That is all! Thanks for all of your support, and I hope you have been enjoying the blog thus far!
A flashback to years ago when I got my learners permit...
There I was, at the DMV, ready to get my learners permit with my mom at my side. As we walked, we were immediately confused. There must have been at least 20 different lines, which was mine? (by the end of the day, I learned that there were all mine).
Once we asked some people where to go, we got on line and while my mom kept our place (love you!), I went to fill out the document. This is when it happened. As I checked off that I was getting my permit, I made the perfect check mark. It was beautiful and looked like it was printed out from a computer. I mean “check” it out. It's amazing.
Soon, we got off of this line and were sent to another to wait to take the test. Let me give you a taste of it ............Next ............Next .............Next............ Next.................Next..................Next................Next.............Next...........Next. Yay our turn. The wait was like 20 minutes which would not have been that bad had I not finished the test in 3 minutes. Yeah that's right I've got skillz (with a "z").
Then I was moved to another line on which I once again waited............. ............Next............Next.............Next...........Next............Next. Yay my turn. This wait was like 10 minutes, so it wasn't that bad, but the worst was the next line (yes there was a next line).
On this line there were 4 people before me. Easy, right? WRONG. Allow me to demonstrate yet again.............................................................................................
Next....................................................................Next......................................................Next.................................................................Next..................................................................................................Next. Yay my turn. 40 MINUTES LATER!!! I went up to the desk where I got a receipt for my permit which would come in the mail in three weeks.
So I waited about two hours to take a 3 minutes test, and I did not even get my permit. Was it worth it? YES of course it was because out of this experience I made the most perfect check mark in the world. I mean seriously. Isn't it beautiful?
Bonus Content: To help with this week's bonus content, click this link: HERE
Another entry in my series of guest posts this one comes from Karen of the Baking in a Tornado blog:
I’m Karen, a struggling-to-remain-sane stay-at-home Mom of boys who found, quite by accident a few years ago, that baking not only creates sweets but also relieves stress. Who knew? Although I do bake to relieve stress, to relieve stress, and oh yeah, to relieve stress, there are other strategies I’ve been trying as well. Face it, there’s only so much butter, flour and sugar available. So I started blogging at http://www.BakingInATornado.blogspot.com It provides me with a delicious (get it?) opportunity to vent. So sit back, have a laugh, try a recipe, then visit my blog…regularly!
The “B” word
What’s so great about a Birthday anyway?
For me, a Mom, it can start the day before with baking myself a cake. After all, what’s a birthday without a cake? And I know my kids would be disappointed if we didn’t have one. So there’ll be one, and it’ll be my kids’ favorite cake, of course. And maybe I did put a little Amaretto into my coffee while baking my cake yesterday, but I'm pleased to report that no desserts were harmed in the baking of this cake . . . or something like that.
Let’s move on to the day of: so I washed, dried and folded the laundry and watered the plants. I defrosted and seasoned the steaks, made the side dishes, prepped the grill and set the table. I made pitchers of Chambord Margaritas and Shirley Temples. Lucky for me my husband and the kids are making dinner so I don't have to do any work on my birthday.
I may have had to pick out the dinner myself, but I had an ulterior motive. I shudder to think of what my husband would have picked, and I knew that if I chose something we all like, I’d get to eat without complaints for a change. After all, this is not an uncommon conversation in my house:
Me: "I'm glad both of you boys work Sunday nights, Dad and I can have fish for dinner with no complaints".
Older Son: "I can make you a recording of me complaining about dinner".
Me: "I can make you a video of me changing the locks".
Work done and dinner prepared for, here’s the next birthday dilemma: If your son who's a pain in the butt gives you a hand-made card that says "I'm a pain in the butt" on the front, should you open it to see what's inside or should you just leave well enough alone? I’m still thinking . . .
And for one final birthday dilemma: My family have been really supportive of my blog (I think my kids have actually read one or two of my posts of their own free will), so what did they get me for my birthday? A new camera. I love it. What’s the dilemma? Should I take crisp clear pictures of my baked goods for the blog and risk showing what my treats really look like? Or should I continue to use my 20-year old lousy camera and keep blaming it on the pictures? I’m still thinking . . .
done and dinner prepared for, here’s the next birthday dilemma: If your son who's a pain in the butt gives
you a hand-made card that says "I'm a pain in the butt" on the front,
should you open it to see what's inside or should you just leave well enough
alone? I’m still thinking . . .
for one final birthday dilemma: My
family have been really supportive of my blog (I think my kids have actually
read one or two of my posts of their own free will), so what did they get me
for my birthday? A new camera. I love it.
What’s the dilemma? Should I take
crisp clear pictures of my baked goods for the blog and risk showing what my
treats really look like? Or should I
continue to use my 20-year old lousy camera and keep blaming it on the
pictures? I’m still thinking . . . To follow Karen on her blog, go here: http://www.bakinginatornado.blogspot.com/ -The Anon Blogger
There comes a time in every man's and woman's life that he/she gets old. The way to test if you’re old is to think of all the modern inventions in the world: if you like them or are neutral to them, then congrats, you still have your youth. If not, congrats, you can now collect social security.
Nowadays, you see this test working everywhere. Some people complain about that dang flabbit Rock Music or Hip-Hop. Some complain about that internet thing and "The Youtube." Some even complain about color TV, but me, I complain about 3D (That sentence rhymed).
Every movie that comes out is in 3D, and now game consoles and TVs are converting to it. I have watched many 3D movies, but every time the 3D hurts my eyes, giving me a headache, and when I try to reach out to touch the images, I end up hitting myself in the face. (Even writing 3D on the computer is hard: half the time I accidentally hold down the shift button when pressing the 3 and get #D or I don't and get 3d, which looks terrible. Go ahead try writing 3D 10 times fast on your computer. It's really hard. I'll wait................ ..........................................................................................................................Do you see what I mean?)
Anyway, with this revelation, I have transgressed into the threshold of oldness, but don't worry about me, young whippersnappers, I always look at the bright side. Free bingo night here I come.
BONUS CONTENT:To experience the movies yourself in a choose your own adventure, click THIS LINK
On Thursday, the rebellion began. We all vowed to rid ourselves of the English language’s silent letters. I decided that we needed something to make it official, so I searched the depths of the Internet, and I found a petition site that you, dear readers, can join to join the rebellion!