|That mustache adds so much.|
Birthdays have many strange traditions that seem to come out of nowhere. For example, why do we eat cake? Why do we make a wish when we blow out the candles? Why do we speak Portuguese before cooking out the ceremonial birthday shwarma?...What? Wait none of you speak Portuguese before cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma? Well you are missing out, my friends, but I digress.
All of these traditions I can accept, but why is it we wait until the birthday of someone to say, “Happy Birthday”
‘Happy Birthday’ can have two meanings:
1. Command: I COMMAND YOU TO HAVE A GOOD BIRTHDAY!
2. Desire: I sure hope you have a happy birthday!
Either way, why do we say it on the birthday and not the day before, the week before, or even decades before?
It makes no sense to say “Happy Birthday” on the birthday because then you are only wishing/commanding them to have part of the day happy. Why not wish the entire day that way?
In fact, I think when the person is born, everyone should just say, “I wish/command all of your birthdays are happy!” Not only would this make more sense, but it would take you off the hook for having to say “Happy Birthday” every year.
Birthday person: Aunt Sally, why didn’t you say “Happy Birthday?”
You: I’m not you’re Aunt Sally, and I already wished you a “Happy Birthday” when you were born.
Birthday person: Oh! Well in that case I think you are the best Aunt Sally anyone could ever have. I love you the most especially compared to those who only wished me “Happy Birthday” for only part of the day.
I’m pretty sure that’s how the dialogue would go.
So, dear reader, I hope you have listen to this message and will never say “Happy Birthday” on a person’s real birthday ever again.
Comment questions: What do you think of birthdays? When is your birthday? Do you speak Portuguese before cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma? What about after cooking the ceremonial birthday shwarma?
-The Anon Blogger
P.S. Happy future birthdays to everyone! Enjoy the shwarma!
Featured: The week’s featured person is blogger, Andi-Roo. This person has supported me from the beginning and this is me saying thanks. Make sure to go check her out at here blog here: http://www.theworld4realz.com/
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