Commercials can be confusing. Luckily, I have done some research into the subject and have compiled 10 helpful translations to help you better understand what they're really saying:
-A $300 value for only $19.95=A $3.00 value for only $19.95
-The #1 in the world=You cannot prove we are not the #1 in the world.
-We have a 30 day money-back guarantee=We guarantee you'll never get your money back.
-Side of effects of the drug include: headaches, cramps, heart failure, coma, pregnancy, death, and the disease this drug was created to prevent=Don’t sue us if you get more sick.
-Perfect for the whole family=Buy one for everyone in your family.
-4 out of 5 dentists approve=We couldn’t say 5 out of 5 without being sued.
-Listen to all our happy customers=Listen to the customers we paid to be on this commercial.
-For contest: No purchase necessary=You do not have to purchase to enter, but we make it incredibly annoying to enter otherwise.
-You get it for a low price, plus shipping and handling=The price is low, but wait until you see the huge price of shipping and handling.
-For only 5 easy payments of $39.95=$200
Commercials can be confusing, but I hope this guide has helped you better understand them.
-The Anon Blogger
Comment Questions: Do you think this should become a series on the blog? If so, what other popular commercial clichés should I translate next? Also, if I designed some T-Shirts based on the blog, would you be interested?
Featured: This week's featured person is another Youtuber and another former contestent on YOMYOMF's Internet Icon, Kyle Hatch. In addition to liking the blog, Kyle is really funny and has an awesome Youtube channel, which you should all definitely check out here: http://www.youtube.com/kcmgtv1
(PS Kyle if your reading these, please comment below and share! PPS If you're anyone and are reading this, check out the "Store" link below and tell me what you think of the designs)