Thursday, December 6, 2012

Commercial Lingo: Translations

Commercials can be confusing. Luckily, I have done some research into the subject and have compiled 10 helpful translations to help you better understand what they're really saying:

-A $300 value for only $19.95=A $3.00 value for only $19.95

-The #1 in the world=You cannot prove we are not the #1 in the world.

-We have a 30 day money-back guarantee=We guarantee you'll never get your money back.

-Side of effects of the drug include: headaches, cramps, heart failure, coma, pregnancy, death, and the disease this drug was created to prevent=Don’t sue us if you get more sick.

-Perfect for the whole family=Buy one for everyone in your family.

-4 out of 5 dentists approve=We couldn’t say 5 out of 5 without being sued.

-Listen to all our happy customers=Listen to the customers we paid to be on this commercial.

-For contest: No purchase necessary=You do not have to purchase to enter, but we make it incredibly annoying to enter otherwise.

-You get it for a low price, plus shipping and handling=The price is low, but wait until you see the huge price of shipping and handling.

-For only 5 easy payments of $39.95=$200

Commercials can be confusing, but I hope this guide has helped you better understand them. 

-The Anon Blogger

Comment Questions: Do you think this should become a series on the blog? If so, what other popular commercial clich├ęs should I translate next? Also, if I designed some T-Shirts based on the blog, would you be interested?

Featured: This week's featured person is another Youtuber and another former contestent on YOMYOMF's Internet Icon, Kyle Hatch. In addition to liking the blog, Kyle is really funny and has an awesome Youtube channel, which you should all definitely check out here: 

(PS Kyle if your reading these, please comment below and share! PPS If you're anyone and are reading this, check out the "Store" link below and tell me what you think of the designs)

Awesome Links:


  1. Perhaps in stead of putting ads on your site you could put translations.

    N.B. Your t-shirts are better than the ones that advertise designers names.

    Michael E. East.

  2. Funny but yet so true. Those commercials are so good at covering all the angles.

    The adverts that drive me crazy are the ones that use fake eye lashes to tell you that a product can make your lashes look thick and curly. Or the hair adverts that have in small print that they use false hair. Why do people still bother buying those products since it can't do what it's suppose to on natural hair/lashes etc...

  3. This is so true. I get soo annoyed when I see them be all overly happy about something so simple!

    What ever you said is spot on!!

  4. I hate the ads that constantly say they are #1. Especially when its on new TV shows.....

  5. If hidden messages intrigues you, look into "subliminal messages" and "pester power". You would be surprised by what companies will do to draw us into purchases. :)