A Man With A Plan

In life, everyone has their plans, but as many people know, planned plans don't always go as those plans were planned. For example, I was planning on having a great day on the beach one day a year ago, but apparently some woman named "Irene" decided to come, and the beach was closed (and when she left, she got everything wet. The roads were flooded).

But this is a story of a different plan, a simple plan to go to the movies...

I came home one day and was told that my cousins wanted to spend their last weekend before returning to college with my family, so we were going to go to the movies. Turns out that the movie did not start for like three hours, so that plan was out. What to do? Well we decided to go for ices. Not a bad plan, I mean who doesn't like ices?...Well I guess snowmen would not like ices, unless they are cannibal snowmen, in which ices would probably be a delicacy, but other than non-cannibal snowmen, who doesn't like ices? Nobody, that's who.

So we went out, had our ices, spoke, laughed, sung, danced, and other associated family verbs, until it was time to go home. So when we got close to home, another plan arose, while my parents parked the car, I would go in and relax. A nice plan if I do say so myself, but it turns out, my mom had my keys. I sat outside the door for like forever (which translates to about five minutes in real time), staring at the wall. Finally, I was rescued, and the door was opened.

I went into my home with a plan to write about this on my blog, but as I said planned plans don't always go as those plans were planned.

So here I am, a year later, stretching an insignificant story where my family went out for ices into one of my longest blog posts ever. Was I successful? Who knows, but that's the plan.

-The Planning Anon Blogger

P.S. I was just kidding about nobody liking ices. It's okay if you don't like it. It just means you’re not "cool." Get it? Because ices are cold, which means cool and I used the word cool meaning popular...Oh I'm so "punny" (and "cool"). Also, if you didn’t get the first joke above, Irene was a hurricane. Don't you love when people explain their jokes?

Bonus Content: To do a Choose Your Own Adventure for this bonus and get a special task, click -> THIS LINK <-

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A Clever Name

There comes a time in most people's life where they must think, "What should I name my children?" and this question is hard to answer (Beth, Charlie, Spunky?). Well I do not have a solution, but I have a great idea... Have his name spelt something like "Josh," but be pronounced something like "Gary."

Imagine your child in a classroom. Attendance is being taken.

"Josh," says the teacher, "Is Josh here? Josh?"

"Actually it is pronounced Gary," says Josh.

Class: HAHAHAHA

Yes it's true, middle schoolers are cruel, and he might be picked on, but once he gets to high school and college, he will be the most popular kid in school. Every time someone reads his name or tries to write it down: instant ice-breaker.

"Ah you must be Josh"

"Actually it's pronounced Gary"

"Wow that's so cool. We should go out some time."

He will nail his job interview:

"Ah so your name is Josh?"

"Actually it's Gary"

"Really it says Josh here."

"Yeah it's some stupid thing my parents found on some blog. It's pronounced Gary."

"Wow that's interesting...You're hired."

And he can get those people at the DMV back:

"Yes sir, what's your name?"

"Gary"

"Sorry we have no Gary here."

"It's spelt-"

"I know how it's spelt it's not here."

"You don't understand, it's spelt-"

"I understand, there is no Gary here."

"It's spelt J-O-S-H can I please speak to you're supervisor?"

"Ah here is Josh. Normally, you'd have to go to 8 other lines, but due to the miscommunication, I'll take care of it for you."

In conclusion, Best. Child. Name. Idea. Ever.

-The Anon Blogger

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A Story of Glasses And The Really Long Wait It Took To Get Them

Two of the basic rules of writing a title are 1. Never reveal too much about the story and 2. Make it short. I have failed at both, but despite my horrible title, I still have a story to tell:

My eyes were growing weaker, and so naturally I went to the optometrist, otherwise known as the doctor whose name is incredibly hard to spell… Wait a second that's all of them. I think it's a law of all doctors to make their title unnecessarily long and hard to spell: Chiropractor, Physician, Pediatrician...Wait a second, what was I writing about? (Looks at really long, story revealing title) Oh yeah the glasses, and you guys called my title "horrible."

But back to the story. I went to the optomitrist optomatrist optometrist, and needed new contact lenses and glasses, so he told me to come pick them up next week. Very easy instructions. Next week, I go to pick them up, but the lenses won't fit in the glasses, so he has to send them away, and I have to wear my contacts all day and then spend the night blind until Monday.

I come in Monday and alas no glasses. Thursday, he assures me. I come in Thursday, and nada, no glasses. He'll have them next week, so I come in Wednesday. Now I know what you're thinking, it's been three weeks, he must have them, and you're not all wrong. He was closed. Who closes on Wednesdays? So I went home empty handed yet again. But finally, the next day I come in and DA DA DA DAAAAA they are there. Finally, I can see clearly yet again.

So what can you, dear reader, learn from this blog post?

1. Sometimes long, story revealing titles can come in handy.

2. Doctors have annoyingly long names.

3. Glasses lenses take a long time to make, so if you're on your way to pick yours up now, turn around, come back in two weeks, and they might be done by then, but probably not.

-The Impatient Anon Blogger

Bonus Content: To play a Choose Your Own Adventure Story for this week’s bonus content, click -> this link <-

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Bonus Content: A Review #1

I know what your thinking. A post on a Monday! This must be a mistake! But no, it is no mistake. It has come to my attention that some readers are not seeing the bonus content of the blog (Gasp!!). For those who don't know bonus contents are the interactive part of the blog, which separates from the rest of all humor blogs!! Usually, it is after the signature of each post (Super Gasp!! Well actually, that wasn't really a gasp moment, but I wanted to say gasp one more time).

For those who missed the bonus content, I am going to list them here just for you!!!! No need to thank me. I do it from the bottom of my heart (Wait what does that mean?! Wouldn't the top of the heart be better, or the middle? Well you get the picture, that discussion is for another day).

The first bonus was an introduction to the whole bonus content experience! Read it if you want to know what this content is all about.

Original Post:

A Big Family Welcome

Bonus Content:

An Introduction

Quick think of an animal you want as a pet! Got it? No don't say it out loud, I can't hear you out here. Pick an animal and get it rated on the Anon Bloggers scale below.

Original Post:

I Want A Monkey

Bonus Content:

I Want A Monkey Bonus Content

The first Choose Your Own Adventure! You decide what to do and you see where it leads. Will you succeed or fail? It's all on your back!

Original Post:

A Story of Glasses And The Really Long Wait It Took To Get Them

Bonus Content:

A Story of Glasses And The Really Long Wait It Took To Get Them Bonus Content

A Clever Name Bonus Content

Not long after the first is the second Choose Your Own Adventure! And third and fourth! That's right there are three new Choose Your Own Adventures! Each based on the post. See if you can win them all.

Original Post:

A Clever Name

Bonus Content:

A Clever Name Bonus Content

Did you win? Check below. (So far no one has won)

Original Post:

I Won!!! I Won!!!

Bonus Content:

I Won!!! I Won!!! Bonus Content

Another Choose Your Own Adventure, but it ends with a special task for you, dear readers. Please accomplish this mission.

Original Post:

A Man With A Plan

Bonus Content:

A Man With A Plan Bonus Content

This asks for a vote. Who should get the chair? You can decide.

Original Post:

World War III

Bonus Content:

World War III Bonus Content

For those who have done all of the bonus contents, I am sorry to bore you with this list. To thank you, put how well you did on all of the bonus contents below and I will grade you on the SUPER ANON BLOGGER SCALE O' BONUS CONTENT. And if you want, tell me which was your favorite! Good luck and happy bonus content!

-The Anon Blogger

P.S. Well your clicking on all the links above, click some of the awesome links below. Every 'like' on Facebook increases my happiness level by 100.

P.P.S Lots of exclamation marks in this post! Can you count them all?!

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