Thursday, June 14, 2012

I Want A Monkey!!!!

In life, one has many desires, for example I really want a Segway to ride around town. However, what I desire most of all, is a monkey named "Chips."

"Why do I want a monkey?" you might ask. Well it's very obvious isn't it? Because...Monkeys are AMAZING.

First of all, monkeys are smart and have thumbs. One monkey was trained to drive, so imagine what I could teach my monkey to do: get me soda, juggle, do calculus homework. I could have my own little monkey servant. It would be so cute.

Second of all, monkeys are cute. All persons respect someone with a monkey. It's just a fact of life (I think). Imagine how cool you'll sound walking around to people asking them to pet your monkey. Okay that didn't come out right, but I just thought of a great monkey pick-up line.

Go up to someone and say, "hey, do you want to pet my monkey?"
"What?" says the person.
"His name is Chips." Monkey comes out behind your back.
BOOM. Greatest. Pick-up line. Ever.

So readers if any of you are wondering what gift to give your friends or family, I suggest a monkey (hint hint Mom)

-The Anonymous Teenager

Bonus Content: What animal would you want most as a pet? Once you think of an animal, --> go here. <-- (Click Link)

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29 comments:

  1. Having poop thrown at me doesn't sound appealing although I'll definitely admit the intelligence of monkeys.

    I'd much rather have a dog but that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just train it not to throw poop. Problem solved.

      Dog=picking up poop. Problem.

      Monkey: 1
      Dog:0

      Delete
  2. If gorillas didnt have such a temper, I would consider wanting a gorilla, but until they can control themselves...

    Monkey: 1
    Gorilla: 0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gorillas are big and monkeys are tiny, so a gorilla can not stand on your shoulder.

      Monkey:2
      Gorilla: 0

      Delete
  3. We have too many monkeys living here on St. Kitts. They have no natural predators on-island, and so they have overpopulated the interior jungle. So much so, they have to resort to stealing farmers' crops to feed themselves.

    Please come take one. They are Green African variety (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlorocebus) and are very cute, smart and agile.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think baby monkey's are cute, but naw..i got 2 dogs and im pretty happy with them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dogs are great. I have nothing against them.

      Monkeys are just awesome.

      Delete
  5. I want rats but monkeys are smarter :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have to agree!
    They are super entertaining, back at my aunt's house, she lives in this remote area where these cute little monkeys would come in the house as if they own the place. You could be sitting there and watching TV and then you will find a monkey out of nowhere through the door going "sup?got any bananas?" Relaxed monkeys are too relaxed! XD

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ohh yeah
    In India, especially in rural areas there are so many monkeys. They used to scare the shit outta ma, but now I find them absurdly cool XD

    Khanak
    www.keepingupwithkhanak.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Monkeys are the worst. You should probably get a pet giraffe instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would but my house is a little too small, and it might be a little hard to take care of.

      Unless... I get the monkey to take care of the giraffe for me. Aha, I just got a great idea.

      Delete
  9. I wouldn't want to have to clean up after a monkey, my two kids are bad enough :) My kids would love a monkey though and want one every time we go to the zoo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your kids are pretty smart. Perhaps you should give in :)

      Delete
  10. No Chimpanzees, those suckers are strong and will kick you ass if you don't keep then stocked with bananas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Chimpanzee. Those are dangerous. Just a small monkey, like the ones that organ grinders used to have.

      Those monkeys are awesome.

      Delete
  11. I love dogs.. but I have nothing against monkeys....

    I would love to pet monkeys as well, maybe in the future..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love monkeys...but I have nothing against dogs.

      You should definitely get a monkey in the future. Trust me, it would be awesome.

      Delete
  12. I love Monkey as one of my favorite Animals along with Cats and dogs and other wildlife.

    LoL too Funny

    ReplyDelete
  13. No chimps though, those suckers are strong and they can hurt you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I used to really enjoy watching the money's in cages, but I find them very threatening in the wild and would not necessarily like one, I do like some apes though it would be nice to have a Gibbon or Orangutan, but only if I had a large piece of jungle for them to live in and be happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, well chimps are violent. Monkeys are nice :)

      Delete
  15. Do your calculus homework? Haha! You have such high expectations for monkeys. Of course I know you’re kidding, but seriously, having a pet monkey is totally cool. Why don’t you adopt one? Show him off to us if ever you happen to get one! And I don't think they'd resort to poop-throwing, unless they feel threatened or you don't pay attention to them.

    Randal Barber @ Poggi's Animal House

    ReplyDelete

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