The Anon Bloggers

Thursday, February 28, 2013

An English Rebellion: Can, Will, and May?

For many years, the English language has been filled with confusing words and sentences. It is ridden with words with thousands of meanings and meanings with thousands of words. In these segments, I aim at rooting out the issues with language and start: An English Rebellion

In our years of education and life, I doubt any of us have never experienced something like this:

You: Hey can you pass the salt?

Person: I CAN pass the salt. I am physically able to.

Let’s face it. Even though it’s annoying when it happens to you, it’s always fun to do to someone else, but is it necessary?

I want to present to you some of the other possible situations:

You: Hey will you pass the salt?

Person: Do you want me to pass the salt?

You: May you pass the salt?

Person: I may or I may not.

You: Wow The Anon Bloggers are awesome. I love this blog.

Person: Yes! I love this blog. I’m going to follow and like it on Facebook.

Okay that last one was a little off topic, but I think the point stands. There is a way of avoiding a question no matter how you phrase it, so please stop correcting us! The world has actual English issues. No need to make another that nobody follows.

Comment Question: Do you agree? Are you also annoyed by people who do this?

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Secret to Internet Success: The Smiley

Have you ever had trouble miscommunicating online? Ever had somebody take something the wrong way? Or ever had something mean to say, but didn’t want it to be obvious?

I am about to reveal to you the secret to accomplishing all of these: The Smiley.

Yes, all of your problems can be solved with just a simple :) or a :P.

If you ever are afraid someone will take things badly, all you have to do is add a smiley and it makes everything okay. And this works with almost everything.

Here are some examples:

Without smileys:

You shouldn’t have said that!

Will you stop already!

My mom says I shouldn’t talk to you!

You suck!

With smileys:

You shouldn’t have said that :)

Will you stop already :)

My mom says I shouldn’t talk to you :P

You suck :P

Suddenly, these horrible messages change into hilarious messages that make you want to smile right?

Now you have learned the secret to making any message okay. I hope you use it for good and not evil :)

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Timmy The Spider #5: The Back-up Plan

A new plan arises. Will it be successful?

To see the other Timmy The Spider comics click the links below:

Timmy The Spider #6
Timmy The Spider #7

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Classic Bad Guy

Many things aggravate me about movies, but one of the most aggravating things in a movie is the cliché bad guy. Here are some of the things I find annoying:

1. Unlimited henchmen: Somehow, no matter how obscure the criminal is, they always manage to have an unlimited amount of henchmen.

I understand that there are some underground ways of hiring people but come on! How many backstoryless, completely disposable, henchman can you hire? You should not have more henchman than China has people.

2. Monologue: Does this sound familiar?

Bad guy: I now have you in my grasp Mr. Good Guy, and I could easily kill you with my weapon right now, but instead, I am going to give you time to think of a way out or call back up and tell you my entire plan and backstory. That seems logical.

If you have the one guy who is potentially going to destroy your entire plan, you should take him out as quickly as you can, and if you want to wait, do not tell him your plan. This will never benefit you. Trust me.

3. Aim: Finally, the most aggravating of all aggravating bad guy clichés is terrible aim.

Somehow no matter how trained these bad guys are, they cannot hit the good guy if he was 600 pounds, standing completely still, and standing 3 feet away. They almost always miss. Plus, when they do hit, it is usually a random person that was only put in the movie to die.

Somehow though, the good guys can always get a direct hit. I have no explanation.

So there are a few annoying bad guy traits. Hopefully, one day, these traits will be put to rest.

Comment Question: Are you also annoyed by these clichés? What else would you add to the list? What would other movie clichés annoy you?

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Anon Blogger Guide To Television

Hello all and welcome to The Anon Blogger’s guide to television. Here are some tips on how to watch television and maybe how to write your own show!

Luckily for you, television has become extremely cliché (and who doesn’t love cliché?), so it’s extremely easy to learn.

1. The Concept

This is the basis for the show. For now, here the types of shows that you can find everywhere:

1. Guys and girls hanging out as friends. This includes Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, and even classics like Seinfeld. Basically, any show where at some point in almost every episode you have the main characters together in one recurring setting. This can be the coffee shop in Friends and Seinfeld, the bar in How I Met Your Mother, and Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment in the Big Bang Theory. Also, usually, the entire plot is centered around a central character’s romance. It’s amazing how suddenly these similarities become clear, right?

2. Cop/Government agent/Lawyer/Doctor/Really any professional that doesn’t play by the rules. I don’t even need to bring examples for this one. If you haven’t seen any of these, you don’t own a television.

3. Girl Drama: Anything on ABCFamily.

4. Reality: Those guilty pleasures that you pretend you never like to watch, but we all know you do. These can be just watching a family or person in their fake everyday lives (You know what I’m talking about Honey Boo Boo Child). They can also be the contests, like the 1,000,000 talent contests that are on air.

5. Others. Yes there are some original ideas out there. (See TheFineBros sitcom Mymusic for an example: http://www.youtube.com/user/MyMusicShow)

2. Drama

Now that you’ve got some concept let’s go through the magic four dramas:

1. Dating: Two of the characters start dating. This is fun at first, but then becomes trouble to the group. After a season or two, they have a fight and break up. They either stay broken up or…

2. Get Married: Two of your characters decide to tie the knot, but this causes trouble in the group (I sense a theme!). Others start to question their own marital status, and there is always a fight for best man/maid of honor. Always. Once they’re married, you have a bunch of fights and once that gets old it’s time for…

3. Pregnancy: Either the married couple has decided that they need to take the next step, or someone has gotten pregnant by accident. Oh no! Will they abort? (No they will never abort or else they will lose ratings). Will they adopt? Probably not or else why get pregnant. That means babies are on their way, and with new life comes the best drama…

4. Death. Yes the juicy stuff is here, and that is death. Kill off a favorite minor character! On no, how sad! Kill off a main character, you’ve got guts. Kill off the main character! Not a good idea, so never do that. Unless it’s the finale of course. Death is the greatest of all drama, but don’t overuse it. Bring a character in, nurture him, make the audience love him, and then kill him. Best. Show. Ever.

3. Sex

I hate to say it because after all, I am usually a PG blogger, but unfortunately, if you are watching a show without sex, you are watching Disney channel. Every show nowadays has it, so expect it to come up somehow at least once every two episodes, and in most shows, even that is low.

And those are the basics of cliché television [Insert Cheers Here]. Well I hope I have helped you learn the ways of television. With this guide, you’ll be on your way in no time.

-The Anon Blogger

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