Thursday, July 25, 2013

Everybody’s Talking About The Royal Baby

The world is in turmoil. The economy’s of the world have crashed, the Middle East is exploding with revolutions, but most importantly, the royal baby has been born.

Yes, many of you might have noticed that the newsfeeds of the world have been cluttered with baby coverage. The entire universe is waiting with baited breath for the next story of the baby, naturally, because this story is the most impactful on our daily lives. 

The first item on the docket for the baby was what to name him. They were deciding between George, Alexander, and Louis, but in true political fashion, they decided on the name, George Alexander Louis. His initials are GAL (I wonder what gender they were hoping for?).

Most importantly, this baby is third in line for kingship. That means if two people die, Barney might be the first dinosaur to ever be knighted. Ms. Frizzle would likely be elected head of education, and the Teletubbies could become the British ambassadors to Mars. Moreover, British alliances would be determined by whichever country had the best toys and most stylish Sippy cups. 

Although if he is going to come in to power, I really hope it is not during his teenage years. Pikachu becoming the national mascot of England would be fun when he’s a kid, but I could not deal with Sir Justin Bieber or Sirs One Direction when he becomes post-pubescent. We have enough of that without making it official. (Although come to think of it, if he were to make them fight to the death, it would be pretty interesting (JK, relax teenage females of the world)). 

All I really have to say is stop with the baby talk. It’s an interesting story, but we don’t needed to have 24/7 coverage of every time the baby moves. No need to turn him into a reality star before he’s even taken his first steps. 

-The Anon Blogger

Comment Question: What do you think? Should the baby be getting this much publicity or is it time we shut the curtains? Tell me in the comments below. 

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1 comment:

  1. I don't mind that the British are all agog over the royal baby and that news of the child's coming dominate their news cycles. After all, the past is important to them. I suppose that I too would dwell more in the past if it were more glorious than my present. However, it is tedious that British nobility have been extolled beyond the shores of the British Isles. After all, they are distracting from more important subjects like the Kardashians...