Sunday, October 6, 2013

Life Lessons: Blenders

Blenders have the power to unlock new possibilities for all. They can puree and smoothee, but they also can be incredibly dangerous (Dun Dun DUUUUUUN). Let me give you a warning of how not to handle a blender through a story my brother and I definitely did not accidently cause via stupidity.

1. Make sure you know how to blend before you attempt. If you don’t, the blade will keep turning and nothing will happen. Wait scratch that, something will happen. Your blender will start smoking. (I kept telling it smoking was bad for its health, but I guess it was addicted). All I know is…

2. If your blender starts smoking, you might want to stop using it. Otherwise, the motor might explode, filling your house with more smoke, leading you to flee the house and walk around the block until the smell and fumes left. However…

3. You should not put the smoking blender in front of the fan you’ve been using to fight the summer heat. I know what you’re thinking, it will blow away the smoke, and you are right but apparently, the smoke just blows away from the fan, into the house. Again, not saying I did this myself, but I suggest against it. And lastly…

4. Don’t do this in your parent’s house. They will not be happy. If you do do this, just hide it from them. Make sure not to give any indication that’s something is wrong: nervousness, lack of eye contact, a blog post on your blog that they claim to read. None of that.

Follow all these steps and I’m sure this won’t happen to me I mean you ever again. Now go out and blend in!

-The Anon Blogger

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