Thursday, January 23, 2014
Monday, December 23, 2013
The Comeback Series
Over the years, I have noticed many sayings and questions that get repeated toward me. Thus, I have developed some clever responses. He are a few:
Do you have change for a dollar?
-I wouldn’t change for any amount of money.
Do you have the time?
-Yes.
Did your mom drop you as a baby?
-No silly, when my mom was a baby, I wasn’t born.
Dude you have no sense of humor!
-Yeah, it heightens my other senses.
Have you lost your mind?
-(Touch head to check) Nope!
That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
-Really? The stupidest thing I’ve ever heard is “blagalongoloo.”
Ugh, don’t you have any patience?
-No, why would I, I’m no doctor.
How do you get to [Insert location here]?
-You walk or drive, I suppose.
Times flies when your having fun.
-That’s odd, a frog once told me times fun when your having flies.
You need to get some common sense!
-Do you have change for a dollar?
Which is your favorite? What responses would add? Tell me in the comments below.
-The Anon Blogger
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Monday, November 4, 2013
The Anon Blogger Quiz
How well do you know the Anon Blogger? See if you can answer these question to find out:
1. Where does my cat like to sit?
A) My Head
B) My Chair
C) The Couch
2. What creepy or cute thing did my teacher send me?
A) ;) ;) ;)
B) I Am In Love With You
C) I’ll See you tonight ;) ;)
3. What was I proud of at the DMV?
A) Getting my permit
B) Getting my license
C) Making a perfect checkmark
4. When was my first blog post posted?
A) 1/3/12
B) 4/14/11
C) 5/31/12
5. What names did I use in “A Clever Name?”
A) Josh And Harry
B) Harry and Gary
C) Josh And Gary
6. What is the name of my recurring comic character?
A) Timmy The Spider
B) Jimmy The Porcupine
C) Kimmy The JellyFish
7. If you are in a race, and you pass the person in 2nd place, what place are you in?
A) 1st
B) 2nd
C) 3rd
8. What’s my name?
A) El Muerto
B) Don
C) No One Knows
9. What is my opinion of 3D?
1) Positive
2) Neutral
3) Very Bad
10. What two things do I want more than anything else?
A) Monkey and Segway
B) An Autograph From The Royal Baby
C) One Million Dollars
Check your answers below…
Answers:
1. On my chair.
2. ;) ;) ;)
3. The perfect check mark.
4. 5/31/12
5. Josh and Gary
6. Timmy The Spider
7. 2nd
8. We don’t know.
9. Very Bad
10. Monkey and Segway
Did you get all of them right? If yes, congrats! If not, you’ve got some blog reading to do.
-The Anon Blogger
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Sunday, October 6, 2013
Life Lessons: Blenders
Blenders have the power to unlock new possibilities for all.
They can puree and smoothee, but they also can be incredibly dangerous (Dun Dun
DUUUUUUN). Let me give you a warning of how not to handle a blender through a
story my brother and I definitely did not accidently cause via stupidity.
1. Make sure you know how to blend before you attempt. If
you don’t, the blade will keep turning and nothing will happen. Wait scratch
that, something will happen. Your blender will start smoking. (I kept telling
it smoking was bad for its health, but I guess it was addicted). All I know is…
2. If your blender starts smoking, you might want to stop
using it. Otherwise, the motor might explode, filling your house with more
smoke, leading you to flee the house and walk around the block until the smell
and fumes left. However…
3. You should not put the smoking blender in front of the
fan you’ve been using to fight the summer heat. I know what you’re thinking, it
will blow away the smoke, and you are right but apparently, the smoke just
blows away from the fan, into the house. Again, not saying I did this myself,
but I suggest against it. And lastly…
4. Don’t do this in your parent’s house. They will not be
happy. If you do do this, just hide it from them. Make sure not to give any
indication that’s something is wrong: nervousness, lack of eye contact, a blog
post on your blog that they claim to read. None of that.
Follow all these steps and I’m sure this won’t happen to me
I mean you ever again. Now go out and blend in!
-The Anon Blogger
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Monday, August 26, 2013
The 2013 VMA’s: Miley Cyrus Cannot Stop
Yesterday, the VMA’s happened and I have to say, I’m speechless. Luckily this is written and I don’t have writer’s block. There were really only two things that stood out. Miley Cyrus goes crazy and NSYNC returns (cue the squeals from girls in there 20s everywhere…Okay, and guys), but let’s stick to Miley. The truth is, there’s no way I could give it justice in words, so I went to the internet to find some pictures to describe the night.
WARNING: MIGHT NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN
First you have the red carpet. Looking back, this should have been a sign for what’s to come. I mean here is Miley years ago:
And here is her now:
But that was only the beginning. There was also a performance. Naturally, she had the standard stoned bears dancing across the stage:
And of course there was some mandatory Miley Cyrus twerking with a giant (also a side note both twerking and Miley are not accepted by Word):
And lastly, there was the moment when everyone in the world collectively burned their foam fingers. Now that is too inappropriate for even me to post, so I’ll just give you Will Smith’s family’s reaction. It really captures the night:
It's actually a reaction to Lady Gaga, but I think it captures Miley's moment just as well.
Did you enjoy the performance? Did it 'twerk'? (see what I did there ;) ;) ) Tell me in the comments below.
-The Anon Blogger
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