The Anon Bloggers

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Professor and The Elevator Triangle

Imagine yourself talking with a friend on the way home to your apartment. You click the elevator button and it comes. You walk in and someone comes in with you. What happens? The elevator becomes silent. Then as you reach your floor and leave the elevator, the conversation continues.

This, dear readers, is what I call The Elevator Triangle. A place where all conversations seem to disappear. Today, I will be outline it's key features.

There are many additional aspects that come with The Elevator Triangle theory, like The Postulate of Button Awkwardness. For example, you walk into the elevator with another person: Do you offer to push their floor button for them? Do you wait for them to ask you for yours? Or do you just push your own button? If you press their button for them, and they reach for it too, your hands might bang into each other. If you wait, you might never get to your floor, and if you press only your own button, the other person might think you are being rude. Anyway you do it leads to Button Awkwardness [Insert Sad Face Here].

Another example of the Postulate of Button Awkwardness is excessive button pushing. This is when somebody is either waiting to get into the elevator or to get out, so he/she/it presses his/her/it's button over and over and over and over...(I think you get the pattern). And in the end, for some strange reason, the elevator does not move any faster. Science is strange sometimes.

Another piece of The Elevator Triangle, is the Door Holding Delay Principle (try saying that 5 times fast (it's actually quite easy now that I think about it...)). You are in the elevator and see someone coming into the building. Do you hold the door for them or do you click the door close button? If you hold the door, you will be delayed, and they might not even need to use the elevator, and if you close the door, they might see it as rude and you are delaying them. Either way, you get Door Holding Delay.

So, dear readers, these are the properties, postulates, and principles of The Elevator Triangle. I hope now when you go into an elevator, you now can realize it's effect.

Til the next lesson,

-The Anonymous Professor

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this new type of post called "The Professor and..." If you enjoyed it, click the like button below, and if there is enough positive feedback, I will make it a regular segment.

Featured: This week's featured user is not a blogger. It's a Youtuber! Well actually two Youtuber's, TheFu! They are semi-famous for their appearance on YOMYOMF's Internet Icon and are hoping to make their youtube music carrer a full time job, so help them accomplish their goal by watching their videos and subscribing! Here's their channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/thefumusic?feature=CAgQwRs%3D

P.P.S If TheFu are reading this post, tell me what you think below! (And share it if you can #shamelessselfpromotion)

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Thursday, September 27, 2012

A Wedding Stomachache

Hello dear readers and welcome back (and if you are new here welcome!). I am here writing this post, remembering a stomachache, which I got after a wedding I recently attended. How did I get this ache? Well let me tell you (Oooh building suspense):

So we were on our way to the wedding right on time when traffic hits. 30 minutes...60 minutes...90 minutes...120 minutes. Two and a half hours until we got there, but it was too late. We had missed the ceremony.

"Did I get a stomach ache from being in the car for over two hours?" you ask. Nope.

So we went into the pre-reception, where there were a bunch of buffet style foods to choose from to eat. It was odd because it was food before a full meal, but it was good. So I got a water (with extra cherries of course) and got some food.

"Was it the pre-reception food that gave me my ache?" you ask. No no no.

Then we finally got to the reception, which was club style music and dancing. I had some more water with extra cherries and sat down. Eventually, my family was invited to dance, so everyone came up, even my grandfather. Then, some random bridesmaid came up and started dancing with my grandfather. Now I'd like you to get this image into your head, dear readers. Imagine an 80 year old man dancing with a 20 year old women with club music and strobe lights in the background. It was very funny. (P.S. Don't worry my grandmother was not jealous).

"Was it this image of my grandfather dancing that caused the ache deep within my stomach?" You ask. No, although it did almost make my sides split.

Finally, we sat down, ate, had another water with extra cherries, and then I had to go to the bathroom. Trust me when I say that this was one of the greatest bathrooms in the world. They even gave out free mints when you leave. I took and ate like 5.

"So was it the mints?" You ask. Still no...Sorry but the answer will come soon.

I waited for everyone to be ready to leave, had a couple more glasses of water with extra cherries, and then we were on our way home. About half way through the ride my stomach started to hurt.

"Why?" You ask. Turns out...I had too many cherries :(

-The Aching Blogger

Comment Question: Are you a fan of cherries? Have you ever witnessed your grandparents doing something hilarious? Do you have any sympathy for my troubles?

Featured: This weeks featured is Nikki! A dedicated follower, who if you check, has commented on almost all of my posts. Thank you so much for your support! To check out her great blog go here: http://marblesonglass.blogspot.com/

If you want to be featured on the blog, leave a comment below or contact me via any of the media sites below!

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Comic: Timmy The Spider #2: The March Begins!

Timmy The Spider returns and the plot thickens. Timmy tries to cure human's biases against spiders. Will it work?

Will Timmy succeed? Tell me what you think in the comments below!

To see the other Timmy The Spider comics click the links below:

Timmy The Spider #6
Timmy The Spider #7

-The Anon Blogger

Featured This Week: This weeks featured person is Kate! One of the few who commented on my last post. She is also a blogger! Her blog is also humor but of a different kind, so check here out if you are intrigued at http://canigetanotherbottleofwhine.blogspot.com/.

If you want to be featured in a future week, leave a comment below.

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Thursday, September 13, 2012

An Awesome Lesson

I'm sorry to remind you all, but school is upon us yet again. A time where all kids around the world mourn the beginning of classes, tests, and worse, homework. To raise your spirits though, I have a story of one of my most entertaining classes ever.

There we were learning about how to listen carefully when one of my teachers comes running into the room. Here is the dialogue (Note: names are changed):

Teacher 1: "What are you doing? You can't just barge into a classroom."

Teacher 2: "I need to talk to Jane right now."

Teacher 1: "Class ends in 15 minutes, and then you can take her"

Teacher 2: "No, I have to take her now. You are not the boss of me."

Teacher 1: "Are you sure you want to do this? You are interrupting my class."

Teacher 2: "I don't care what you say, I need Jane now!"

Teacher 1: "Very well, just remember what you've done."

Teacher 2: "I will."

He leaves with Jane. The teacher asks us to write what we just saw, so she could use it. Of course, we are all afraid by now. We were thinking, "would what we write be used to get the other teacher fired?" We had no choice though, so we wrote down what we saw, and she asked us to read our stuff out loud. We all had different observations, which was a little weird, but not as weird as what happened next.

After we were all done, BOOM! the other teacher comes in and bows, and my teacher tells us that the exercise was to show that everyone hears something different. It was all an act. We were all freaked out.

I would like to take this time to congratulate my two teachers on such a wonderful feat, and if any of you, dear readers, are teachers, I highly suggest doing this. It was amazing.

Comment Questions: What would you have written about in that situation? Do you think this was awesome? Are you going to try to use this (please do)? Would you be freaked out if this happened to you? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

-The Shocked Anon Blogger

Featured This Week: Until bonus content returns, I thought it would be fun to keep the interactivity up in the blog by making a featured user of the week. Comment below if you want to be featured in the future and make sure to like ‘The Anon Bloggers” on Facebook (link below). This week's featured person is a blogger by the name of Bhavani K. Her blog, Insatiable Me, has some great humor and doodles, but most of all, she was one of the first supporters of my blog and remains faithful to this day. If you can go check her out, and again, if you want to be featured, leave a comment below.

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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Creepy or Cute?

Technology can be confusing, especially emails. Many times, I have read something and not understood if it was sarcasm or not or thought someone was insulting me when he was really giving a compliment. Let’s face when someone says, “Wow that’s so awesome,” you have no idea whether he is thinking, “Wow that thing that my friend did was so awesome that I totally have to tell him” or “Mwhahaha I said the thing my friend did was awesome, but he has no idea that I really think it’s not awesome and I’m just being evil Mwahahahaha.” By the way, props to your friend for being able to evil laugh in his head. I’ve only been able to chuckle.

Oh wait, back to topic…

Out of all of my Internet confusion, I must say the following experience confounded me.

I was in school near the end of the day when I received an assignment back from one of my teachers. “Very normal,” you might think, but read on dear reader. As I stared at the email, I saw my assignment and on the bottom instead of a grade it said the following:

“;););)”

Now I don’t know about you, but since when have letter grades been replaced with winks?

How do you respond to a grade like this? I mean on the one hand it is cute that my teacher grades with winks, but it is also extremely creepy to me. It’s 'crutey.' And just like that a new word is born.

So I ask, dear readers, do you think this creepy or cute?

Comment Questions: Do you think this is creepy or cute? Would you like a ‘;) ;) ;)’ grade from your teacher? Will you start using the word crutey (please do)?