The Professor and The Elevator Triangle

Imagine yourself talking with a friend on the way home to your apartment. You click the elevator button and it comes. You walk in and someone comes in with you. What happens? The elevator becomes silent. Then as you reach your floor and leave the elevator, the conversation continues.

This, dear readers, is what I call The Elevator Triangle. A place where all conversations seem to disappear. Today, I will be outline it's key features.

There are many additional aspects that come with The Elevator Triangle theory, like The Postulate of Button Awkwardness. For example, you walk into the elevator with another person: Do you offer to push their floor button for them? Do you wait for them to ask you for yours? Or do you just push your own button? If you press their button for them, and they reach for it too, your hands might bang into each other. If you wait, you might never get to your floor, and if you press only your own button, the other person might think you are being rude. Anyway you do it leads to Button Awkwardness [Insert Sad Face Here].

Another example of the Postulate of Button Awkwardness is excessive button pushing. This is when somebody is either waiting to get into the elevator or to get out, so he/she/it presses his/her/it's button over and over and over and over...(I think you get the pattern). And in the end, for some strange reason, the elevator does not move any faster. Science is strange sometimes.

Another piece of The Elevator Triangle, is the Door Holding Delay Principle (try saying that 5 times fast (it's actually quite easy now that I think about it...)). You are in the elevator and see someone coming into the building. Do you hold the door for them or do you click the door close button? If you hold the door, you will be delayed, and they might not even need to use the elevator, and if you close the door, they might see it as rude and you are delaying them. Either way, you get Door Holding Delay.

So, dear readers, these are the properties, postulates, and principles of The Elevator Triangle. I hope now when you go into an elevator, you now can realize it's effect.

Til the next lesson,

-The Anonymous Professor

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this new type of post called "The Professor and..." If you enjoyed it, click the like button below, and if there is enough positive feedback, I will make it a regular segment.

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