If you’ve ever been on Twitter, you might have noticed these little things called “Verified Twitter Accounts.” According to the website, these are accounts that have “establish[ed] authenticity of identities of key individuals and brands on Twitter.” In other words, if you are who you say you are, you can be verified by @verified. Here are a few accounts that are a little sketchy:
1. Michael Jackson @michaeljackson
Apparently his Thriller music video was based on a true story. Someone be on the look out for a Michael Jackson zombie walking around.
2. Captain America @CaptainAmerica
Captain America just came out of the 1940s. I’m not even sure he could work a cellphone let alone a twitter account. I think @Iron_Man has been hacking.
3. Angry Birds @AngryBirds
Please, everyone knows that birds can’t tweet.
4. Spongebob @Spongebob
Oh so my IPhone gets a drop of water on it and it explodes, but Spongebob can use his in a pineapple under the sea and it works fine. I’m not buying it.
5. Buzz Aldrin @TheRealBuzz
Everyone knows he faked the moon landing, so who knows if he’s faking this.
6. Yahoo Maps @yahoomaps
This one is actually extremely odd. 85 followers, not following anyone, and never tweeted a thing. I guess Yahoo maps learned from Apple and gave up before it even began.
7. Elvis Presley @ElvisPresley
Not sure why he’s on this list…although it is surprising that he would tweet while he’s so deep undercover.
8. Curiosity Rover @MarsCuriosity
This one is just as probable as Spongebob. If I can’t get reception when I go through a tunnel, do you really expect me to believe this little guy gets reception on Mars? If so, I’m switching to the NASA network.
9. Myspace @Myspace
Please, we all know this doesn’t exist anymore. Zuckerberg’s just playing with us.
10. Verified Accounts @verified
You have 4 tweets (as of this posting) and yet you have over 1,000,000 followers. Do you really expect me to believe this is legit?
Have any other sketchy verified accounts? Post them in the comments below!
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Oh, now I can see Twitter hasn't got the time to deal with people who are being threatened online etc. That's because they're busy verifying these accounts, ha ha ha. This is so funny.
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ReplyDeleteNow you're scaring me. How do I even know that you are. . . well. . . you. Whoever that is. I may never trust twitter again.
ReplyDeleteI think Yahoo Maps gave it up when they saw Google Maps' results and realized that the maps were just a bunch of sketches drawn by first-graders on LSD, in spite of all the high dollar equipment Google possessed. As for the Elvis thing, that undercover website looks totally legit, like something the NSA would put up, right down to the store and everything, so I'm a believer.
ReplyDeleteThe Curiosity Rover account made me laugh, because that was one of the most hyped-up and publicized landings, and instead of it being all serious and hush-hush and quiet, like in the days of the Apollo landings on the moon, it was a bunch of people with crazy haircuts, yelling and cheering and snarky comments from everyone like George Takei on Twitter, on down to, well me! They had wayyy too much fun with that, so of course this little guy is tweeting.
My favorite site is SETI@home (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) which is barely a presence, much less verified on Twitter, but there are scads of people who follow it, including myself. I don't think they tweet much of anything, unless it's in ultrafrequencies that our eyes are unable to discern. Their counterpart, BOINC is a much larger presence, but I have no idea what they're talking about, since it's in Japanese. Go figure. Where's Timmy the Spider when you need him?
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