The Anon Bloggers: August 2012

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Time Stops, Aliens Invade

Have you ever noticed that when you’re having fun, time moves fast, and when you’re suffering, time moves slowly? Some might say this is some type of psychological situation triggered in the brain, but I found a more plausible explanation. No, I’m not talking about some crazy explanation, like wizards or vampires. I’m talking about aliens.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “that explains everything, but why do they want to do this?”

That is very simple. Invasion. Aliens have been plotting an invasion of Earth since the beginning of time, and this is the perfect way of achieving it.

Whenever a human is having fun, aliens make the time pass quickly, so they feel sad that the moment has passed, and whenever a human is suffering, aliens make the time pass slowly, so the human suffers longer. Either way, it leads to depression.

Clearly, aliens want the human race to be depressed, so when the invasion begins they will submit in hopes of a better future.

This is the only logical explanation, and we must prevent it from succeeding.

We cannot give in! My request from you, dear readers, is to resist this alien manipulation. Instead of regretting the fun moment that has passed quickly, remember the happiness it brought you. Instead of suffering through slow boring times, look forward to the happy times ahead. Fight the depression that aliens are trying to force upon you, for this is the only way to save the world.

The aliens have met their match.

Comment Questions: Hello dear readers, to make up for bonus content during schools, I’ll try to ask a few comment questions every week. This weeks questions are: Do you experience this alien trick during your life? Have you ever witnessed any suspicious beings employing some type of time slowing or speeding process? What other methods can you think of to resist the alien’s attack?

-The Anon Blogger

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Monday, August 27, 2012

An Anon Blog Triple Announcement

I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to read first? Ha just kidding. I can’t hear a word you're saying, so let’s start with the bad news.

With the ending of August, comes the beginning of school, which means a lot more on my plate. This does not mean I’ll be blogging less, but it does mean I will be making less bonus content. I’ll see if I have time, but it does not look like I will, so expect just a regular once a week post.

Now the good news: First, the bonus content for last week has been completed thanks to your suggestions. Anonymous suggested a short Choose Your Own Adventure that goes by quick but has unexpected ending, so I hope I satisfied! You can find it HERE

Also, your entries have been added to the Hot Vs. Cold bonus content, so if you want to see if your entry was included or want to add a new argument, go HERE

That is all! Thanks for all of your support, and I hope you have been enjoying the blog thus far!

-The Anon Bloggers

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Thursday, August 23, 2012

A Day At The DMV (WOO HOO)

The most beautiful check mark ever, right?

A flashback to years ago when I got my learners permit...

There I was, at the DMV, ready to get my learners permit with my mom at my side. As we walked, we were immediately confused. There must have been at least 20 different lines, which was mine? (by the end of the day, I learned that there were all mine).

Once we asked some people where to go, we got on line and while my mom kept our place (love you!), I went to fill out the document. This is when it happened. As I checked off that I was getting my permit, I made the perfect check mark. It was beautiful and looked like it was printed out from a computer. I mean “check” it out. It's amazing.

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Soon, we got off of this line and were sent to another to wait to take the test. Let me give you a taste of it ............Next ............Next .............Next............ Next.................Next..................Next................Next.............Next...........Next. Yay our turn. The wait was like 20 minutes which would not have been that bad had I not finished the test in 3 minutes. Yeah that's right I've got skillz (with a "z").

Then I was moved to another line on which I once again waited............. ............Next............Next.............Next...........Next............Next. Yay my turn. This wait was like 10 minutes, so it wasn't that bad, but the worst was the next line (yes there was a next line).

On this line there were 4 people before me. Easy, right? WRONG. Allow me to demonstrate yet again.............................................................................................

Next....................................................................Next......................................................Next.................................................................Next..................................................................................................Next. Yay my turn. 40 MINUTES LATER!!! I went up to the desk where I got a receipt for my permit which would come in the mail in three weeks.

So I waited about two hours to take a 3 minutes test, and I did not even get my permit. Was it worth it? YES of course it was because out of this experience I made the most perfect check mark in the world. I mean seriously. Isn't it beautiful?

Bonus Content: To help with this week's bonus content, click this link: HERE

-The Anonymous Driver

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Monday, August 20, 2012

Guest Post: The 'B' Word

Another entry in my series of guest posts this one comes from Karen of the Baking in a Tornado blog:

I’m Karen, a struggling-to-remain-sane stay-at-home Mom of boys who found, quite by accident a few years ago, that baking not only creates sweets but also relieves stress. Who knew? Although I do bake to relieve stress, to relieve stress, and oh yeah, to relieve stress, there are other strategies I’ve been trying as well. Face it, there’s only so much butter, flour and sugar available. So I started blogging at http://www.BakingInATornado.blogspot.com It provides me with a delicious (get it?) opportunity to vent. So sit back, have a laugh, try a recipe, then visit my blog…regularly!

The “B” word

What’s so great about a Birthday anyway?

For me, a Mom, it can start the day before with baking myself a cake. After all, what’s a birthday without a cake? And I know my kids would be disappointed if we didn’t have one. So there’ll be one, and it’ll be my kids’ favorite cake, of course. And maybe I did put a little Amaretto into my coffee while baking my cake yesterday, but I'm pleased to report that no desserts were harmed in the baking of this cake . . . or something like that.

Let’s move on to the day of: so I washed, dried and folded the laundry and watered the plants. I defrosted and seasoned the steaks, made the side dishes, prepped the grill and set the table. I made pitchers of Chambord Margaritas and Shirley Temples. Lucky for me my husband and the kids are making dinner so I don't have to do any work on my birthday.

I may have had to pick out the dinner myself, but I had an ulterior motive. I shudder to think of what my husband would have picked, and I knew that if I chose something we all like, I’d get to eat without complaints for a change. After all, this is not an uncommon conversation in my house:

Me: "I'm glad both of you boys work Sunday nights, Dad and I can have fish for dinner with no complaints".

Older Son: "I can make you a recording of me complaining about dinner".

Me: "I can make you a video of me changing the locks".

Work done and dinner prepared for, here’s the next birthday dilemma: If your son who's a pain in the butt gives you a hand-made card that says "I'm a pain in the butt" on the front, should you open it to see what's inside or should you just leave well enough alone? I’m still thinking . . .

And for one final birthday dilemma: My family have been really supportive of my blog (I think my kids have actually read one or two of my posts of their own free will), so what did they get me for my birthday? A new camera. I love it. What’s the dilemma? Should I take crisp clear pictures of my baked goods for the blog and risk showing what my treats really look like? Or should I continue to use my 20-year old lousy camera and keep blaming it on the pictures? I’m still thinking . . .

To follow Karen on her blog, go here: http://www.bakinginatornado.blogspot.com/

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm Getting Old in 3D

There comes a time in every man's and woman's life that he/she gets old. The way to test if you’re old is to think of all the modern inventions in the world: if you like them or are neutral to them, then congrats, you still have your youth. If not, congrats, you can now collect social security.

Nowadays, you see this test working everywhere. Some people complain about that dang flabbit Rock Music or Hip-Hop. Some complain about that internet thing and "The Youtube." Some even complain about color TV, but me, I complain about 3D (That sentence rhymed).

Every movie that comes out is in 3D, and now game consoles and TVs are converting to it. I have watched many 3D movies, but every time the 3D hurts my eyes, giving me a headache, and when I try to reach out to touch the images, I end up hitting myself in the face. (Even writing 3D on the computer is hard: half the time I accidentally hold down the shift button when pressing the 3 and get #D or I don't and get 3d, which looks terrible. Go ahead try writing 3D 10 times fast on your computer. It's really hard. I'll wait................ ..........................................................................................................................Do you see what I mean?)

Anyway, with this revelation, I have transgressed into the threshold of oldness, but don't worry about me, young whippersnappers, I always look at the bright side. Free bingo night here I come.

BONUS CONTENT: To experience the movies yourself in a choose your own adventure, click THIS LINK

-The Anonymous Senior Citizen Blogger

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Monday, August 13, 2012

The English Rebellion Awesome Announcement

On Thursday, the rebellion began. We all vowed to rid ourselves of the English language’s silent letters. I decided that we needed something to make it official, so I searched the depths of the Internet, and I found a petition site that you, dear readers, can join to join the rebellion!

Here is the site: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/an-english-rebellion/

Sign your name, spread it to everyone you know, and join the rebellion! Do it for yourself, NAY your country, NAY do it for the world.

If you want updates on the rebellion, like The Anon Bloggers on Facebook HERE.

Together, we can make the English language the way it was meant to be.

-The Anon Rebel

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Thursday, August 9, 2012

An English Rebellion: Silent Letters

For many years, the English language has been filled with confusing words and sentences. It is ridden with words with thousands of meanings and meanings with thousands of words. In these segments, I aim at rooting out the issues with language and starting: An English Rebellion

One of the most confusing things about the language is silent letters. Let’s face it. When we come to words we don’t recognize, we can never sound all of them out because who Knows where the silent letter is. This can lead to embarrassment, shame, and confusion for anyone who reads.

“What is my suggestion,” you ask. Well I am glad you asked that…

I say, instead of hiding and pretending these letters don’t exist we embrace them. Pronounce every letter in the world like the sounds we were taught in school. Pronounce the ‘K’ in ‘Know,’ pronounce the ‘P’ in ‘Pneumonia,’ and pronounce the ‘C’ in scissors. When someone says ‘nomes,’ don't pretend it's right. Say, “What’s that? I believe you mean ‘Gnomes.’ You forgot the ‘G.’” No longer are we shackled by the confines of standard speech. We can say the words the way they were meant to be said.

Imagine a world without any silent letters. A world where there is no word you don’t Know. No Surprises awaiting you. That is a world that I dream of.

Silent letters cause confusion all around the world, and with us, we can end that confusion. So dear readers, join with me as we take a stand against the silent letters that have plagued the world for so long. Together we can save the English language.

(To help with the rebellion and do this weeks bonus content, go: HERE)

(To sign the list of rebels, go: HERE)

-The Anon Blogger

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Monday, August 6, 2012

Life is Not a Pleasure Trip (Guest Post)

Beautiful bathroom, but where’s the soap?

Hey all,
This is the first in what I hope to be a series of guest posts from other bloggers around the web who want to contribute to the blog. This one is from Marilyn Baron with slight edits by me. Her bio is below. Tell me what you think :)

“Does everything in life have to be fun?” That was one of my father’s favorite expressions, right after his pronouncement, “Life is not a pleasure trip.” And my answer to that question was always, “Yes.” Life isn’t always fun, but a lot of things we experience every day are funny.
Like yesterday, when the woman in the grocery store deli handed me my sliced cheese order, followed by a cheery, “Come back to see us.” Of course I’m going to come back to see her—if I want to eat. No wait, I think I’ll skip going to the grocery store for a few weeks and see how long it takes me to starve. I know she was just trying to be nice and of course I know there are other grocery stores in my neighborhood, so they’re just trying to keep my business, but some things just strike me as humorous. When they do, I write them down and try to find a way to incorporate them into my stories.

Like the other morning when I asked my husband to hand me a plate while he was making his breakfast, and he said: “You can’t multitask when you’re making oatmeal.” The proof of which is splattered all over the inside of my microwave at least two or three times a week.

Last Call to Missoula

Earlier this week, we were at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas waiting to fly back to Atlanta when the airline representative announced over the PA system, “Last call to Missoula.”
“Where’s Missoula?” I asked my husband.
“I think it’s in Montana,” he answered.
After the third or fourth “last call,” my husband said, “They must still be trying to scare up some passengers, as in “Are you sure no one wants to go to Missoula? The doors are closing.”
Then the fun began on our flight home. I was getting settled when a giant of a man who looked like a hefty linebacker (think Refrigerator Perry) sat next to me and his biceps literally spilled over into my seat as the mass of humanity poured through the aisle.
Then one of the flight attendants announced, “This is going to be a full flight.”
“Surprise.” When is any flight these days ever NOT a full flight?
Are we having fun yet?
No, because a woman behind me was shuffling a deck of cards over and over. She wasn’t playing cards or dealing cards, just shuffling, VERY LOUDLY. “The Shuffler”
continued to shuffle the cards throughout the entire 3 ½-hour flight. At least there were no screaming babies.

The Great Soap Conspiracy

I’ve been traveling a lot this summer and I think I’ve detected what I call The Great Soap Conspiracy. Is there a global shortage of soap I don’t know about? I understand the need to conserve water, but soap?

It started on my trip to Spain. My sister and I stayed in 5-star hotels. They provided one bar of soap between us and we had to use the same bar in the sink as we did in the shower. After two days of not replacing the soap, I called the front desk and asked for more soap.

When my husband and I went to Aspen over the summer I noticed the same phenomenon at another first-class hotel. One bar of soap that was never replaced. Chintzy.

In Las Vegas, however, our hotel actually provided a bar of soap for the bath and one for the sink. I guess you have to throw the soap away in order for them to replace it. Or I’ll have to bring my own soap next time I go out of town. I don’t find that very funny.

I try to inject humor into every story I write, from romantic suspense and paranormal to women’s fiction. My favorite books to read are humorous. I like to laugh and I think my readers do too.
Leaving readers laughing is not always easy to do because many of my stories have serious themes. However, every one of them has a humorous element and a heartwarming, surprise ending. For example, “A Choir of Angels,” starts out with a fatal house explosion on the eve of a young girl’s wedding. Nothing funny about that, but the story is written in a humorous tone. In “Follow an Angel,” the themes of loneliness and rejection are balanced by humor when an angel on a mission drops into a 5th floor Florida beach condo to help the heroine find her soul mate on Twitter. “The Stand-in Bridegroom,” opens with a missing bridegroom. Each story involves a death and an angel, and yet all have happy endings.

When I read, I like to be entertained. Reading relaxes me. I don’t like books where I have to slog through obscure literary references and decipher hidden meanings. If a book makes me laugh or smile, so much the better. So if you’re a writer, keep a notebook handy and write down things you find funny. If you’re a reader, sit back and enjoy the read because when you read, life really is a pleasure trip.

Bio:

Georgia Author Marilyn Baron, a public relations consultant in Atlanta, writes humorous women’s fiction, humorous paranormal short stories and romantic suspense. Her latest release, Dead Mix, is available from TWB Press at http://www.twbpress.com/deadmix.html; Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Dead-Mix-ebook/dp/B008P4LFI4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1344028502&sr=1-1&keywords=Dead+Mix; and Barnes & Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dead-mix-marilyn-baron/1112257979?ean=2940014991049. To read more about her women’s fiction, “The Edger,” visit her blog at Petit Fours and Hot Tamales at http://www.petitfoursandhottamales.com/marilyn-baron/; Find her angel stories, “A Choir of Angels,” “Follow an Angel,” and “The Stand-in Bridegroom, “ at TWB Press: http://www.twbpress.com/achoirofangels.html. Find her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Marilyn-Baron/286807714666748 and Twitter at https://twitter.com/MarilynBaron. Her next book, “Under the Moon Gate,” a romantic thriller set in contemporary and WW II Bermuda, will be released from The Wild Rose Press in spring 2013. Marilyn is a member of Romance Writers of America, Georgia Romance Writers and Marketing For Romance Writers. She is a finalist in the Georgia Romance Writers 2012 Unpublished Maggie Award of Excellence in the Paranormal/Fantasy Romance category for “Sixth Sense.”

Hope you enjoyed the first guest post! Tell me what you think in the comments below, and if you want to write your own guest post, send a message to my Facebook page (link below). New post Thursday that I'm excited for, so see you soon.

-The Anon Blogger

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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Comic: Timmy The Spider #1

Congratulations, dear reader, you are reading the first Timmy The Spider comic!!!

Timmy is a Spider, who gets into a bunch of wacky situations. Check it out!

So that was the first of what I hope to be a monthly series at least. 'Like' us on Facebook (like box on the sidebar), and vote on the poll and tell me if you want to hear more from Timmy The Spider. Also, make sure to comment below to tell me what you think!

Link to Poll: HERE

To see the other Timmy The Spider comics click the links below:

Timmy The Spider #6
Timmy The Spider #7

-The Anon Blogger

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